Don’t Let The Holiday Season Ruin Your Weight Loss Plan!

Memorable Christmas Feasts From History - Holidappy - Celebrations

If you’re trying to lose weight, I don’t care what program you’re on, you know we are in the time of year, that leads to diet disaster. We call it “The Holiday Season”. For Americans, it lasts from

Thanksgiving until New Year. For most of the rest of us, it certainly lasts from the time the supermarkets put out their mince pies, until sometime in January, when they finally remove them from the shelves.

There are office parties, family dinners, invites out with friends, and of course, gifts. Calories, and carbohydrates fill the air. We always think we can be strong, or we decide a cheating day won’t hurt, and before you know it, it’s March and we’re back to eating like we always did. Then we get depressed and verbally berate ourselves as we reach for the ice cream to provide comfort.

I’ve done it at least 20 times in my life. I’ve spent 6 months to a year, eating great, and losing weight, only to jump ship in January due to the Holiday Festivities. Not this time.

First, I’ve lost too much weight to risk giving up now. And secondly, I’ve changed my life. I’m not on a diet. I have an eating plan. And they are different mindsets.

I did the same thing when my wife and I got out of debt. We had made a financial mess. I won’t go into it, but we were a disaster. It had gotten really scary. Then, we came to our senses and decided we didn’t want to live like that any more. I read several books, and we decided to make a plan. I got out my yellow pad and we looked at our debts, our income, and our bills. Then we prioritized them. If you want to find out the details, my book, IOU NO MORE, is still available on Kindle. The print version is off the market.

One of the changes we made was in our mindset. We weren’t on a budget. We had a spending plan. There was a goal. We made loads of mistakes. Some of them were pretty stupid, but we got right back on the horse and kept riding.

That was 20 years ago. It took us several years to get out of debt, but we did it. Today our income is smaller than it’s ever been, but we are able to pay all our bills. Besides that, I’ve gone back to school and got my masters and doctorate. My wife went back and got her bachelors and is working on her masters degree. We have paid for it. No student loans. We haven’t had a car payment since 2006. We’ve paid cash for every vacation.

Finally, this year, I decided to treat my health the same way. Instead of a diet, I have an eating plan. I know what I can eat, and what I can’t eat. I don’t eat what I can’t. Sometimes, if we’re at another couple’s home, or we’re out with friends, we can’t eat according to our plan. We don’t panic. We don’t cause a scene. We eat what’s put in front of us, knowing the next day will see us back on the program.

That’s why the Holidays are different this year. We’re on a plan. We have goals. And because we’re not on ‘a diet’, the mentality has changed. I’m not a slave to my weight, or to a diet. I’m in charge. Do I wish I could eat everything I like? Yes, but I can’t. That’s reality. I want to live a long time. And I want to be happy. I risked both of those things by eating myself into oblivion.

As I’ve said before, sugar is out of my life. I know how poison and addictive it is. White flour too. I do have the occasional low carb tortilla. I do have the occasional hamburger bun. I’m not a slave. I have a plan. The fact is, I don’t like burgers without buns. So now, I have fewer burgers, and have a bun. I don’t have ketchup, because it’s full of sugar. I don’t have special sauce for the same reason. Now, to be fair, burgers are awful here in the U.K. The only ones I like are sold in our local supermarket. They are 295 calories. I have two in my freezer. On days when I eat one, like I’ve said before, I bump my carbs to 50 and my calories to between 1500 and 1800.

Ok, to be fair, Covid has made things easier this year. We can’t go to people’s homes or have people over. So some of the temptations have been excluded by Government sanction. But I’m ok with that. It helps me stay true to my plan.

I’m 4 pounds away from new territory. I’m 60 pounds from my goal weight. I can see it from here. Yes, the light is distant, but I want it, and no one is going to stop me. So don’t even think about trying.

If you want to change your life, think in different terms. Stop thinking about debt and budgets. Take back your life. Start thinking about a spending plan and things you want to achieve or buy or do. Stop thinking about how fat you are, or how bad you look naked. How many people see you naked anyway? Never mind, don’t answer that. Start thinking about what it will be like to wear clothes off the shelf, rather that at the big and tall store. Start thinking about paying less for shirts, because 2XL and larger cost more. Start thinking about being able to walk, or go places you’ve always wanted to go. What do I want, rather than what I can’t do now.

If you need weight loss surgery, make an appointment, talk to your doctor. Don’t wait until ‘someday’. It’s not on the calendar. If you want to lose weight, start small, cut out sugar. That’s a great beginning. You’ll be surprised how much that will help you. If you need to start exercising, start by walking around the block. Or walking to your neighbors driveway and back. Do something. Change your mind, and do something.

And here’s my commitment to you. I will tell you what happens to me this Holiday Season. I will weigh myself say Christmas Eve, and again January 7, I will tell you what I ate. No secrets. Deal?

Have a very Merry Christmas, y’all. And please remember the Reason for the Season!

I HATE Dieting in Winter. There I Said It.

Public Domain Clip Art Image | February calendar page: It's so cold! | ID:  13920582614985 | PublicDomainFiles.com

Do you have times of year when eating right is particularly hard? I know I do. Winter is one of them. And it’s not because of the Holidays. It’s because it’s cold and dark, and I want to eat to feel better. I want loads of Carbs. I want good burgers with buns. I want mashed potatoes or loaded baked ones. I want acres of Macaroni and cheese and cheesy potatoes. Many people want soup in winter. It makes them feel warm and cozy. I am not one of those. Unless it’s New England Clam Chowder or Lobster Bisque, I’m not interested in soup at all. For my whole life, soup has felt like a punishment.

Anyway, for the moment, Keto and South Beach, are a bummer. I’m being honest. You need honesty. The only bright spot is I’m now at 240 lbs. even. That means I am 5 pounds from uncharted territory. That’s exciting. For those who are new to this blog, I started originally, at 305. But this Keto/South Beach program I started at 280. It has been years since I was over 300 lbs. But I’ve been stuck at 175 to 280 for nearly a decade. I had given up. My health gave me jolt back to reality. I have to focus on the progress. Last night I was so hungry I was whining like a 6 year old. I didn’t give in, but I sure wanted to. This morning when I got on the scales, I was pleasantly surprised.

The simple truth is, dieting isn’t always easy. Sometimes it’s really hard. You have to decide what’s important to you. For years, I ate my way to poor health, simply because food tasted good. In the end, I had my heart attack and strokes. I wear the scars of that mistake for the rest of my life.

I have made the decision to change. I can honestly say, there is no vanity in my motivation. I’m 64 years old. The idea of egotistical reasons for weight loss is honestly, laughable. I just want the last quarter of my life to be healthy. I owe that as a legacy to those who follow.

Loose Skin – A Very Real Side Effect of Weight Loss

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This post has been a long time coming. I’ve been afraid to write it, but the time has arrived when it needs to be done. Not for my benefit, but for yours.

In 1990, I weighed 250 lbs. On my 5′ 9.5” frame, that was a lot of extra weight. Shortly before I turned 34 years old in October of that year, I started losing weight. It was slow at first. By the spring of 91, I was serious. I took up running and working out in the gym. I was fairly young, I was getting healthy, and I looked on fitness as my job.

My routine was pretty simple. I went to the gym every morning at 9. Three days a week, Monday, Wednesday, and usually Saturday, I would sauna for an hour or so. Then I would shower, come home, have lunch, and work a bit. In the afternoons, especially on days I did not go to the sauna, I would run 2 to 5 miles. I hated running. But I got good at it, and it became a regular part of my routine. I ate very little during the day, I was not on Keto in those days. I’d never heard of low carb. Only low fat. I ate a light breakfast of toast and oatmeal, a light lunch, and then at night I’d have a big dinner.

I did this for 7 years. I lost down to about 168 lbs. I went from a 40 inch waist to a 33. I am, and have been thick waisted my whole life. I inherited my build from both of my grandfathers. People who knew me as fat, were shocked at how I’d lost and kept off my weight. People who didn’t know me as heavy were stunned to hear about my earlier weight issues. They only knew me a buff and thin.

I had no loose skin. Absolutely none. I had met a guy in college who lost a lot of weight, and he had rolls of it. It was almost frightening to look at. I had worked hard, and was young enough that I did not suffer that fate one iota. But that was then.

I was 41, when my wife and I got married. I stopped running, working out, and eating healthy. So did she. We ate everything we could get our hands on. I won’t describe some of our eating marathons, but I might come back to it in the future.

I peaked out at 305 lbs. Holy mackerel! I was a mess. To be fair, I lost down to 275, and stayed between there and 285 until earlier this year.

2.5 years ago, I had open heart surgery. I’d had a heart attack and several small strokes. The last stroke was on the operating table. It left me partially blind in my left eye. The surgeon said that I was fortunate. I could have easily died from a stroke while undergoing heart surgery. In that case, I’ll settle for a little vision challenge.

It’s ironic that it’s taken me this long to get serious about losing weight. But at long last, I got there. My wife has been practicing the Keto diet for several years. It got a whole lot easier for her once I got with the program. We are both losing weight at a fairly steady rate.

I have not been able to get back into a consistent exercise routine. Part of that is pure laziness. And part is because I’m 64 years old, and my body doesn’t work the way it used to. I used to run sled dogs. I did it for over 30 years. I ran limited class sprint races. That means 4 to 6 dogs over 4 to 6 miles for multiple days in a race, trying to get the fastest time. It’s a lot different that the Iditarod. For most of that time, I was seriously overweight. Running up and down big hills and running between the runners to make things easier for the dogs, did a number on my knees. They are scarred up badly.

For a number of years after retiring from racing dogs, I was a farmer. I worked hard. Trying to compensate for my deteriorating knees I damaged my back and hips. These days I have serious sciatic problems. My entire right side, from below my chest is affected. I am in constant pain. No one’s fault but mine. These are the results of allowing myself to remain obese and trying to live like I wasn’t.

Currently, I weigh 247 lbs. I’ve got a long way to go, but I’ve made great progress. I tried a body weight workout last week. It was a disaster. I will try one tomorrow. I’m not going to join the gym. Like I said, I’m 64. I don’t want to spend the money. I will stick to body weight exercises for a while and see what happens.

The thing I’ve really noticed, is, the loose skin. Frankly, it’s getting bad. And it’s pretty ugly. It’s all in my mid section. My legs and arms never got grossly fat. Oddly, neither did my chest and upper back. All my weight was in the middle. Just like a barrel, or an apple. So as I lose weight, my belly skin sags. I guess to be fair, I’ve got a good bit of loose skin on my neck, but comparatively, it’s not that bad. I’m trying to stay PG in this space, so let’s just say, there is a part of my anatomy that is pretty much covered up by hanging slabs of skin.

When I go to the bathroom, I have to drop my trousers. I can’t just unzip. I’m so sorry to paint this picture, but this is real life. I have to hold up my skin so that I have the freedom to go number 1. In public restrooms, I have to use a stall so that I don’t frighten and gross out other people. The point is, my loose skin has become an issue.

Another side effect is that my trousers don’t fit right. I have a huge bulge just below the belt line. My trouser sizes are not going down as fast as I’d like, because the loose skin is replacing the fat, and it looks odd.

My wife is having loose skin issues as well. She’s a lot younger than I am. She’s broken her back twice, and the loose skin is causing her pain. She will have surgery once she finishes losing weight, and Covid allows travel. I will not have the surgery. Like I said, I’m 64. In my mind, that’s an expense that doesn’t have enough ROI in my case. I’m too old to spend that kind of money for cosmetic surgery that won’t have a huge health benefit for me. I will live with the loose skin. My situation is so much different than my wife’s. She’s in her mid 40s. She’s not too old. And the loose skin causes her pain. She needs the surgery. Unfortunately, insurance won’t cover it, so we’re saving up for it now. We don’t put things on credit cards, but that’s another topic for another day. Check out my book IOU NO MORE. Its old now, and it’s only available on Kindle these days, but it’s still available.

I am telling you about our loose skin, because it’s real life. If you are on Keto, with only 25 or 30 lbs to lose, this might not be something you’ll face. If, though, you’ve got 100 lbs or more to lose, or, like me you’re getting a bit older, you will face it. It’s one of the prices we have to pay for decades of being morbidly obese. And the more we know, the better prepared we are for side effects.

In my case, I won’t ever be even a 36 inch waist. If I get to 38 I’ll be lucky. It will also affect my weight goal. I know I will have 7 to 10 pounds of extra skin affecting the scale every time I get on it. That’s reality. It’s a price I have to pay. We weighed up the benefits vs cost of having skin removal surgery and for my wife it makes sense to pursue it. For me, it will be like giving away money. I won’t do it.

You need to be aware of the reality of loose skin. Some people have it in big pockets on their upper arms, their waists, and even on their legs. It can be gruesome. I’ve seen the photos on Instagram. You need to think about it now, so that you can decide whether or not you will pay for the surgery. The odds are greatly against insurance covering loose skin surgery. Don’t let either the existence of waves loose skin, or the cost of getting rid of it, catch you by surprise. Be ready. Be wise. And good luck. This journey is worth the hassle.

Keto is Working, with a few tweaks.

Public Domain Clip Art Image | Bathroom scale | ID: 13946503217586 |  PublicDomainFiles.com

Hey, it’s time for an update on how my wife and I are doing on Keto. Short version: both of us are having great success. I’m not going to post any photos just yet, because I don’t like this mid program photo idea. It’s just me. I’m weird.

Right now, I weigh less than I have since the year 2000. I weigh 249 lbs. Yikes. I still have more than 60 pounds to go. That’s why I don’t want to take photos yet. And my wife is weighing less than she has in about that long. This program is a winner.

As hinted at in the title, we have had to make some tweaks. I’m not going to go into great detail, but I have some health issues that require meds that affect my bowels. Eating the few carbs we are allowed has been problematic, and exacerbated the problem. So we have made some minor adjustments in the food we allow ourselves to eat. We have added some things allowed on the South Beach Diet. We will, occasionally, allow some brown rice or whole grain pasta. And once or twice a week, I will have some oatmeal in the morning.

On days when we add some of those items, I reduce my calorie intake. I will ensure that I have less than 1900 calories on those days. Since we are very fat adapted, sometimes we don’t even go out of Ketosis, which is a big plus, but even when we do, we’re back in after a single night of fasting.

That reminds me, we are practicing intermittent fasting. We don’t eat between 8 pm and noon. It took me a while to get adjusted, because I’m a breakfast lover. My wife has done this for years, so for her it was no big deal.

I just want to say, if you are afraid to try this program, don’t be. It’s awesome. And if you want, you can try the South Beach Diet. It has been modified to be very Keto friendly. The main thing is, seriously, cut the sugar out of your diet. Completely. That alone will make incredible changes. And processed flour along with white rice and white pasta. Get rid of those processed foods. Do it today. You’ll be glad you did.

Some Changes To My Life and Coming to this Blog

Why people delay software updates, despite the risksHey, y’all. It’s been a while since I updated this. Shame on me. This lock down is driving me crazy. I just wanted to give you a quick update to activate this page again, and to let you in on some of the things you can expect.

  1. We’ve gotten back on track with our weight loss program, but with some changes. Primarily, we are now focusing more on the South Beach Diet, than the Keto Diet. Both are low carb, but frankly, living here in the U.K. we feel like the South Beach Diet offers us more variety than the Keto Diet does. The only tough change has been, South Beach limits fats more than Keto does. But we are allowed some things like whole wheat pasta or brown rice. I’ll write a special post about the changes and why, but wanted to be upfront about it. Mostly, its a cost thing. Keto was getting too expensive for us. Stay tuned for more.
  2. One of the reasons I haven’t been doing stuff is I’ve been focusing on finishing my Doctorate program. Well, I’ve  got that submitted now, so I’ve got some more time. I’m on pins and needles waiting on my final results.
  3. I’m getting ready to relaunch my podcast. I’m planning on kind of expanding it. It will still have Bible and Christian episodes, but I’m looking to expand to cover all the things I’m interested in. Having episodes on dieting, Bible and Faith, dogs, paranormal activity, farming and gardening, and maybe even writing. I want it to become kind of a cup of tea and a chat more than the strict teaching I’ve been doing. Watch for announcements. Give it a listen. And offer suggestions. Again, more later.
  4. Speaking of writing. It’s time to get back at it. I’m going to finish my book, Life Lessons From a Lead Dog. I’ve got the first 4 or 5 chapters done. Well, the first draft. This is a book I’ve wanted to write for at least 20 years. Now it’s time. Watch for updates.
  5. I’m trying to save a few bucks by bringing all my websites under this umbrella. I don’t know how well that will work, but we’ll see.
  6.  I now have a YouTube station for my sermons. It’s just Sam Burton. I’ll probably change the title, but that’s it for now. It’s not complete yet, but will be soon. I don’t plan to really advertise it. At least not yet.
  7. I’m wanting to make a YouTube station for my new podcast, but not sure yet. I don’t want to have to worry about the camera being a distraction. I’m not Joe Rogan.

Ok, I think that should do it. You’re pretty well up to date. Thanks for your patience. Remember, I always appreciate questions and suggestions.  I’m out.

Oh Yeah, I’m At My First Weight Loss Goal!

Image result for hit the goal images public domainI did it! I reached my first goal. I’m below 250 lbs for the first time in a very long time. It took me longer to figure it out, because the battery went dead on our scales and I had to weight. Figures.

Next goal is 225. Now it’s time to kick up the exercise. That one scares me. I’m 62 years old. To regularly hit the gym is asking a lot of my old, out of shape body. I will probably do mostly body weight exercises for the first 2 months, then start adding weight machines. I will eventually go free weights, but not just yet. Correction, I’ll probably use dumbells for arm exercises. I fear I will have to get my biceps and triceps built up a bit to be able to do push ups. That’s a sad commentary, but a realistic one.

I really owe a big thanks to all the Keto people I’ve followed on FB and Instragram. And all the YouTube videos that have been so motivational.

For those who are new to  my blog, I am not practicing strict Keto. I have certainly curtailed my carbs, and raised my fat intake. That will probably always be true. But I have added new potatoes, parsnips, carrots, peas and corn, to name a few.

One of the reasons is simply because I love those vegetables. Also, they are good for you, and they grow very prolifically here in Scotland. New potatoes, are not nearly as starchy as mature ones, but are just as tasty roasted. The same with parsnips. Roasted parsnips are like manna from heaven.

I track my carbs carefully and try and stay below 30 grams maximum per day. The key is to track, faithfully, the food I eat. And if you want to really get a hold on your weight, you need to do that, too.

Think of it like budgeting. If you write down what you spend, and you write down your bills, you know exactly where your money is going and where it needs to go. I treat my eating the same way.

Oh, here’s another switch I made. I use paper and pencil rather than an app. I have two apps I used to use. I still have them for looking up food (calories and carbs). But using pencil and paper makes the exercise more personal. I don’t know why, it just does. I found that out when my wife and I were getting out of debt. Pencil and paper were so much better that using an app. I’ve seen on YouTube that there are lots of people who feel the same.  Try it with your food tracking and let me know what you think. I’m interested.

Just a couple of other quick notes. This is the easiest and the hardest program I’ve ever done. It’s the easiest because I’m never hungry. And when I am, I just eat. I don’t have to take any pills, or buy any shakes. I’m doing this naturally.

But it’s also the hardest, because sugar and flour are in everything. Spice mixes are full of sugar, so I have to pretty much make all my own. Yesterday, we had a taco and fajita night at Church. The taco and fajita seasoning all had sugar. I ate a little meat and cheese, but skipped the veggies because of the sugar in the seasoning. But watching all those flour and corn tortillas was a bit stressful. I didn’t feel deprived though, because I wasn’t starving and feeling jealous. I just miss bread.

I guess that’s enough for an update. I just wanted to share my good news. I love winning!

I Am NOT On A Diet!

Let me start by saying, I’m not on a diet anymore. I will stop calling Keto my diet. It’s the way I’m eating. Using the word ‘Diet’ is like a punishment. I’ve been bad, so now I’m on a diet. Boo Hoo. Poor Me. It is psychologically damaging.

Keto is the way I’m eating. And frankly, I like it. There are some of the foods I don’t ever want to go back to. Processed sugar is done. White flour. Outta here. Pasta and White Rice. Bye Bye. I don’t miss them.

There are some things I will work slowly back in. I’ve already done that with potatoes. I have three new potatoes about every 10 days. I leave the skin on, cut them into 4 pieces, soak them for an hour, and roast them. New potatoes have a fraction of the starch of full grown potatoes. That means fewer carbs. Soaking them for an hour means even more starch is removed. Leaving the skin on means I get all the nutrients. What a treat.

Eventually, I’ll bring back most other vegetables I’m currently not eating, like winter squash. I will also eventually bring back local honey. Especially with Greek Style Yogurt. I do miss that.

But I have a lot of weight to lose and I’m losing it. My clothes are too big. My wife got me three pairs of trousers that fit. My belt is too big now. I’m trying to decide whether to buy a new one, or punch some hole in this one. I am leaning that way, because the belt is fairly new and I hate spending money when there is a lot of leather that only needs a hole or two.

My shirts are mostly too big. Some of them shrank after we moved to Scotland and started using a tumble dryer. I hung my clothes out on the line for 5 years and they lasted great. Dryers are hard on clothes. Very hard. All that lint you have to clean out, that’s your clothes breaking down. I hate them, but we have no clothes line here in the apartment so dryer it is.

My sweaters are way too big. I’m wearing one today. I look like a street urchin. My jeans are too big, and my sweater is too big. But I’m still in them. It’s not like my pepper plants are offended when I go to my greenhouse to work.

Last week I was 5 lbs from my first goal of 50 lbs. I think I’ll be there in a week or so. Once I hit that target I will really be excited. I haven’t been below 250 lbs in about 18 years. I was last under 200 lbs in 1997. I have a while to go for that. Patience is a virtue.

I will go to the gym starting next week. I feel like I’m ready to try. It’s not particularly easy at my age, but I’ve got to give it a go.

Anyway, that’s my story for now. I’m eating great. I’m losing weight. I’m just not on a diet.

Weigh In Day…Sigh!

Image result for bathroom scales images public domainIt’s been about 6 weeks since I started the Keto lifestyle. That’s pretty impressive for me. So far, I’m not craving bread at all, or sugar, for that matter. But I’ve only lost 8 pounds. That’s rough on the ego. It’s rather discouraging to work as hard as I have, and to see such a small weight loss.

To be fair, I’ve found out part of the reason. My medication. One of my pills causes fluid retention. And another actually has significant weight gain as the number one side effect. Fortunately, I ran out of those pills a week ago, and I have an appointment next week to get the medicine changed. The fact is, I’m not going to take it anymore. I’m not prepared to trade one health issue for another. That dog don’t hunt.

As far as the fluid retention goes, that comes from my blood pressure medication. I’m less than a year removed from a heart attack, 4 strokes, and triple bypass heart surgery. I need that medicine until I get the weight under control. My blood pressure is phenomenal right now. It’s better than it’s been in 15 years, at least. I’m not going to mess with what’s working. My goal is to be able to get off the blood pressure meds, but I’m a ways away from that. In the meantime, I can take a diuretic pill once in a while.

Another problem I’m having is exhaustion. I have no energy at all. I’m getting plenty of sleep, but I don’t have the energy to go to the gym. When I go to the greenhouse, I can put in an hour of hard work, sometimes two. Then I have to quit. It’s so weird.

Looking over my macro tracking, I see that I’m cheating myself on Carbohydrates. Most days I only get 10 or 15 total carbs. I know that people on the Carnivore Diet think that sounds normal, but for me it isn’t. I believe I need to raise my Carbs to about 25 to 30 grams a day and see how that works. I’m not going to raise my calorie limit, so will bring down my fat intake a bit.

I’m not going to add in bread, pasta, or sugar. I’m trying to get those out of my life forever. But I am going to raise the amount of vegetables I eat. And I’m going to add in new potatoes, once or twice a week. I will slice and soak them in water to reduce the starch. I’m also going to add small portions of other root vegetables, like parsnips, and some carrots. Since I track all my food, I’m not worried about overdoing it. And by adding them one at a time, I can see what works and what doesn’t.

My hope is, that this will provide me with the energy to work out. I’m starting that change tonight. I’ll keep you posted. I wonder if others out there have had similar issues, and how you addressed them.

Oh, let me add that all the fat has seriously given me stomach issues. If I have a meal or a snack that’s too high in fat, I’ll have a stomach ache and cramps. Every. Single. Time. I document everything, that’s how I know. The worst offender is heavy whipping cream (AKA double cream to you Brits). Melted cheese and pepperoni can also cause it. Oh, and back bacon, if I have more than two slices. It’s delicious, but dangerous.

That’s why I think I’m on the right plan by tweaking both my fat, and my carbohydrate intake. Stay tuned.

That’s about it for this week’s update. Thanks to all of you who’ve begun following this weekly rambling session. You make me smile.

The Ketogenic Diet and My Problems With Aging.

meI’m Fat! There I said it. Sadly, not for the first time. But I want you to really understand what I’m saying. I’m not overweight. I’m not portly. I’m not big boned. I’m Michelin Man, fat. Obese. No, Morbidly Obese. It’s the kind of fat, that makes it easy for me to be self deprecating, and use it as a part of public speaking as a great source of humor.

Here’s the deal. It works. I’m funny. I can make a crowd chuckle, giggle, and roar with laughter. I love that. It feeds me. I truly enjoy making people happy. You can get people to swallow a great deal of truth while their mouths are open laughing. And I love sharing truth with people.

While it works, it’s easy. It may even be the shallowest form of humor. Very little thinking or creativity needs to be put in to one’s humor when you’re using self deprecating abuse as your method and target.

Because I love to make people laugh, and hear their laughter, I’ve been able to avoid the actual fact that I’m unhealthy. I just bury it in the back of my mind and go on. I can make jokes about buying larger clothing, breaking chairs, or causing fear in the eyes of the person who has to sit next to me on an airplane. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been able to joke about getting a bus seat all to myself. People will laugh. I will cry a little in private. Then swallow it with a cheeseburger, and go on.

Two years ago, things got serious. I was having trouble breathing when I walked any distance. My chest hurt. I didn’t know what was wrong, until I had a heart attack. I’d had a small stroke in January of 2017, but didn’t tell anyone. I was raising money to become a missionary, and didn’t want anything to stop me. For a while, my wife had to do everything because I couldn’t think straight, or write. I am so grateful for her.

Then in late August, or early September, I had a heart attack. I was taken by ambulance to the hospital. It was kind of embarrassing. I had two strokes, small ones, but real, in the hospital. I remember them both quite profoundly.

After about a week, I went home. Things were somewhat better. I was now on all kinds of medications and I had to carry a spray in my pocket in case of heart issues. But I carried on.

In November, my wife and I took a trip down to Edinburgh for our anniversary. For those who don’t know, “The Royal Mile” is one of Edinburgh’s more famous shopping and tourist areas. Walking back up the Mile, my heart began to hurt like it hadn’t since my attack. I used my spray several times, but I was scared. Eventually, we made it back to our bus stop and went to our hotel. The short version is, I ruined the anniversary. My wife was so scared. And to be honest, angry. When we got home however, I used it to make people laugh.

In June of 2018, I was finally taken in to hospital for triple bypass surgery. It was a terrifying time. I was stone cold scared of the thought that someone was going to stop my heart, take veins form my leg as replacement for the blocked ones, then try and get my heart going again.

When I awoke, I felt better. Two days later something went wrong and I had a bad reaction. I genuinely thought I was going to die. I remember hallucinating during the event. Later, as I began to heal, I noticed a blind spot in my vision. My left eye was distinctly missing part of it’s sight. Eventually, after several visits to doctors, and having many tests, I was told that I’d had a stroke during surgery. Many people die from that. I only lost part of the vision in one eye.

When I got better, it all became the source of much laughter. That’s the way I do things. I’m not proud of it, I’m just telling you how I operate.

Finally, came the pain from sciatica in my back. I’d had it for years, but the pain became excruciating in 2018. I can’t even describe it. I’ve had many scans and doctor visits and tried multiple medications. It is awful, and sometimes debilitating.

I’m 62 years old. I’m not a kid anymore. Something has to give. I have to take action, or give up, fall apart, and, die.

I tried counting calories. But honestly, the discipline required in that, was too much for me. I lost a few pounds, but it was so much work I just lost interest. I gained the weight back.

Recently, two things happened that clicked my brain. The first was my pain was so bad that I would have to lay down for at least a couple hours a day for relief. My wife would take walks and go to the gym with her friends leaving me alone. I felt lonely, and I got jealous. Seriously. I’m not proud of it, I’m just saying.

The second thing is, all my clothes became uncomfortably tight. My entire wardrobe is too small. Every day, I wrestle with what I’m going to wear. Fortunately, I have a few large sweaters. I can put them over a too tight shirt, or just wear the sweater. For trousers, I have two pair of jeans, 1 dress pair of suit trousers, and one ratty old pair of casual trousers that are fraying at the cuffs.

I couldn’t bear it. I was literally dying, plus hurting, plus looking like a homeless man each time I left the house. I wept. I tried watching YouTube videos for fitness ideas, but those are all young studs and beautiful women, and frankly, I couldn’t relate to any of them.

It was at that point, I discovered, or I should say, I started paying attention to, the Ketogenic Diet. My wife had been talking about it for a while, and had even played with it off and one. I might add, she played successfully.

I headed straight for Google. I read everything I could about the eating plan, both pro and con. I watched dozens, maybe over a hundred videos on YouTube. I got the basic understanding of eating high fat, moderate protein, low carbohydrates. I loved and hated the idea of cutting out refined sugar and flour from my diet.

I hated it because I love bread like I love my heartbeat. And I loved it for the same reason. I knew, and have known for at least 5 years, that I am addicted to bread. I don’t understand all of the reasons, but I know it’s true. Bread, donuts, pizza crust, pie crust, rolls, hamburger buns, cupcakes, you name them, I’m an addict. Give me a toaster, a loaf of bread, some butter, and honey or jam, and I’ll clean it all up and ask for more.

I’m not here to discuss the reasons for it, but I know it’s true. Simple carbs, especially highly processed ones are a huge source of weakness for me, candy bars, potato chips, fries, onion rings, you name it. They are all a part of the problem. My mouth is watering, just thinking about all these yummy goodies.

Anyway, 10 days ago, we made the jump. I haven’t had any bread, sugar, potatoes, rice, pasta, or highly processed carbs. The first week I lost 5 pounds. That was all water weight, I’m sure. But it’s still encouraging.

At the moment, I do not believe potatoes will be gone forever. They are really tasty and healthy, but for now they are totally out. I believe the junk is gone forever. I’m not convinced that after 10 days, I’ve broken my addictions, but I’m doing pretty well.

I’m not yet able to exercise. My pain is still inhibiting me. Soon I will go to the gym. I have no expectations, but I’ve got to do it. Whatever that means. Treadmill, weights, stationary bike, I’m not sure. The thought of my leg and back hurting turns me into a whimpering 3 year old. I want to cry, fuss, and beg mommy to take me home.

The only appealing thing about the gym is the sauna. When I’m warm, my leg doesn’t hurt. I’m relaxed and in a good mood. Maybe I could start in the sauna, get loosened up, do my workout, then go back to the sauna to finish up. I don’t know. I’ll let you know what happens.

It’s tough sledding for a man my age, to admit he’s past his peak, but determined to do something about it. It would be easier just to let myself go, and enjoy myself. But enjoyment has brought me little joy. I’ve got to stretch myself and see what happens. Here I stand.

I made my goals for 2019 back in November. I’ve still got time to meet them. Stay tuned. I’ll keep you posted on this whole Keto experiment. TTFN (ta ta for now).

Image result for working out images public domain

I joined the gym today. Let me explain. As you know, I started a new eating plan about 4 weeks ago. And I got off to a great start. I lost about 10 pounds in 10 days. Yay me.

Then I had to go to the hospital for a health problem unrelated to my weight. The doctor put me on some medicine to relieve my long term pain. For the first three weeks, there was no effect. Not any pain relief. She told me to expect that. This week, the medicine is beginning to take some effect, I think. The problem is, the medicine has caused me to gain back 7 of the 10 pounds I lost.

I gotta tell you, that has been discouraging. I was excited about the possibility of pain relief. I’m not so excited at the moment. Partly, it’s because I haven’t had a great deal of pain relief. Just weight gain.

Here’s the deal. I’m eating less than 2000 calories a day. My target is 2350. That’s a lot of calories. My personal target is 1900 calories. Most days I beat that. Some days I get a little closer to the 2350. Only twice in the last month have I gone over the 2350. I should have lost considerably more than 3 pounds.

I have a Dr’s appointment tomorrow morning, in which I hope to either get some different medicine, or to get some understanding on what I can do besides starve myself.

In the meantime, I’ve decided that it’s time to try had get this old frame into some kind of shape, one last time. I know how to do it. I was once very active in the gym, and trained with some of the greatest Body Builders and Wrestlers in the USA and here in Britain.

The basic problem is I have an obstacle. Something unexpected hit me from behind. I was so frustrated. I wanted to scream. Getting on the scales is so hard. But I refuse to give up or give in. I’m going to go to the gym three days a week to begin. And we’ll see after that. After I see the Dr tomorrow I will decide whether or not to reduce my calories even more.

I have a goal. I have an obstacle. I refuse to give up. I’ve got to understand all the circumstances and consequences of my situation. And then I must adjust as needed. Giving up is not an option.

Right now I’m frustrated and discouraged. Tomorrow is a new day. Let’s try again. Let’s do this.